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My Perfect Cousin

This song was released in 1980 by The Undertones, a punk band from Derry, Northern Ireland. The lyrics mention the titular cousin "always beat me at Subbuteo, cos he flicked to kick and I didn't know".

This is a reference to the game's slogan "flick to kick". The single's cover featured a Subbuteo player on the front and back, in the colours of Derry City. The player on the back had both its legs broken, as was a common occurrence when the game was played by children on their bedroom floor.

Lyrics are copyright The Undertones and are reproduced here for encyclopaedic purposes:

MY PERFECT COUSIN
(Written by Bradley / O'Neil)
Undertones

Now I've got a cousin called Kevin
He's sure to go to heaven
Always spotless clean and neat
The smoothest you can get them
He's got a fur lined sheepskin jacket
My ma said they cost a packet
She won't even let me explain
That me and Kevin were just not the same

Oh my perfect cousin
What I like to do he doesn't
He's his family's private joy
His mothers little golden boy

He's gotta degree in economics
Maths - physics and bionics
He thinks that I'm a cabbage
Cos I hate university challenge
Even at the age of ten
Smart boy Kevin was a smart boy then
He always beat me at Subbuteo
Cos he flicked the kick
And I didn't know

Oh my perfect cousin ..

His mother bought him a synthesizer
Got the Human League into advise her
Now he's making lots of noise
Playing along with the art school boys
Girls try to attract his attention
But what a shame it's in vain total rejection
He will never be left on the shelf
Cos Kevin he's in love with himself

Oh my perfect cousin ...

Video on YouTube includes the game in action!